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Can I have a… (quantity words)

 

A   Can I have a biscuit?

B   There aren't any.

A.   Can I have an ice cream?

B.   You've already had one.

A   Well I want another one

B   You can't have one

A   Oh please, just one more

B   Oh alright, this is the last one - you won't

      have another one.

A.   Is there any cheese

B.   There isn't any food. There's no cheese, there are no biscuits.

There's nothing. Your friends have eaten everything.

None of your friends think of bringing any food with them.

A   Is there nothing in the freezer/

B   No, there isn't ANYTHING. There's

     NOTHING.   The cupboard is bare. 

A.   There's nothing to eat.

B.   There's no more bread, no more butter, and no more eggs.

A.     We haven't anything to eat.

B    We haven't any money so we haven't   

       anything to eat

 

THE LAST STRAW present contin (and verbs that don't take ..ing form)

+ composites of some/any

A   What are you cooking tonight?

B   Nothing.

A   Nothing?

B   Nothing

A   What do you mean, nothing?

B   Nothing. I'm not cooking anything

A   Nothing. But I'm hungry.

B   So. Eat!  

A   But there isn't anything.

B   Open the fridge. Can you do something simple like that?

A   But I want something hot.

B   Tough! You can make everything now! I'm leaving.

A   You're leaving?

B   Yes. I'm leaving.

A   What do you mean, You're leaving?

B   Yes, leavingI'm leaving. I'm going. I'm departing. I'm not staying. I'm liberating myself!

A   What are you saying? Why are you leaving?

B   I'm sick of you. Sick and tired of you: your silent meals, your one word conversation, your feet, your disgusting cigarette smoke, your smell. Ugh. ENOUGH. ENOUGH. I'm leaving.

A   Sick of me?

B   Yes. Is that a new wonder of the world- SICK OF YOU??

A  I don't understand.

B   That's something new!!

A   Where are you going?

B   It doesn't matter. I'm going. I'm starting again on my own.

A   Why? At least explain.

B   Explain?   There's nothing to explain. One word does that: YOU.

A   But it is so sudden

B   Sudden! 20 years!

A   But …..

B   But what? But nothing. FINISH. THE END. CURTAIN

A   But I need you.*

B   Ha, me? You don't need anything from me; you need a doctor

A   A doctor? I don't need anything from a doctor

B   (door slams)

A   A doctor?

 DEPRESSION

B        Is something wrong?

A        Is anything right?

B        (worried) Can I do anything?

A        There isn't anything that anybody can    do.

B        Nothing? But……..

A        (irritated) And theirs is NOTHING to    say.

B        What nothing?

A        No, nothing.

B        But you must have some idea what's    wrong.

A        Sometimes there is nothing to say.    Nobody can really help.

B        Isn't there really anything that I can   do?

A        No, nobody can help. There is nothing    that anyone can do.

B        Go somewhere on holiday, perhaps?

A         No. There's nowhere to go.

Nothing to do

Nobody to understand.

Nothing to ask.

Nobody to reply

NowhereNothing. Nobody.

No hope. No future. Nothing.

B     Aren't you exaggerating? Perhaps you're just depressed!

A    Imbecile!


Potatoes   (quantity words)

A   Have another potato.

B   Another one? We've eaten most of them!

A   We! You've eaten most of them! What about our diet? We agreed to eat less! You are too fat remember!

B   Me! So are you, but you don't admit it! Have you looked in the mirror recently?

A   Me! You are much fatter" The doctor warned you. You are overweight.  In fact you are obese!

B   Me obese! You can talk! You're a mountain of flab!

A   Look. Let's face it we are both a little over weight. Now are we having a few roast potatoes or not?

B   Well I don't think there's anything wrong with a few more roast potatoes. Too much butter is the problem, not one or two roast potatoes. Besides, you need a diet more than me!

A   OK OK We are both on a diet, but a few lightly roasted potatoes won't make a difference. !

B   Well, maybe you're right. I'll just take one first. Just one more potato. Roast potatoes! One of my favourites So delicious!!

A   One doesn't seem enough! Help yourself! I'll have another.

B   I can see you like them a lot. Can I have some more too?

A   They are really too good! We'll finish them all!

B   (laughs) Yes every last one! (They greedily scoff all the potatoes) Oh there are none left!

A   Not a single potato! Do you realise how many we cooked!!

B   In case we had visitors!!

A   Well there were just enough for us two!

B   Umm! They were so delicious. Have you got any room for pudding?

A What about our diet? Do you think we've eaten too many potatoes?

B  It's too late to think of that.

A   I think I could find a little space for a few chocolate éclairs, but  I think that since we are on a diet, just one each would be enough. We'll keep the rest of them for tonight. (they start on the éclairs. Loud sound of slurping)

B   Do you think we should just have one each?.

A  Yes just one….or maybe two won't harm?

B   Just two!? We might as well eat them all now!

A   yes, it might be easier to count them afterwards !!(ha ha)  Pass them here. Mmm, delicious.

B   Better to not leave them for someone else

A   Look if WE eat them now that means WE, not YOU. Do you want to eat them all?                                                                                           

B   Well they are so delicious.

A   Well slow down! Well, we might as well eat them all and then we can forget about them!!

B   Shall we divide them up equally, so it's fair, and then no one will have too many? One of us is rather greedy!!!

A   Yes and we KNOW which one!!

B   Yes we DO! That one!

A   Oh be quiet: we are both fat and greedy!! Delicious aren't they?

B   Mmm!

A   It's a pity to leave any. Someone else might eat them all.

B   ((they scoff the remaining éclairs .They are relieved that they're going to eat them all) I wouldn't blame anyone if they did eat them. MM., so good. Oh! Have you finished yours?

A   (gloating) I've got several left. I eat slowly! You are like a vacuum cleaner. No, leave it! You've eaten all yours! All these are mine!

B   Oh, go on, don't be so greedy! Just give me half of one!

A   No, they're all mine. You've had plenty. No! They're mine!

B   I'll just help you with this little one. Remember, you're on a diet!

A   You are on a diet too: you greedy pig. (Shouting and trying to stop him) Leave it!

B   Me greedy! You are so selfish! You won't let me have half an éclair!

A     Shameless pig! You've eaten all yours!Empty